Model Portfolios
Curated dividend strategies for different investment goals
These model portfolios showcase different dividend investing approaches. Each strategy is designed with specific goals in mind — from maximizing current income to building long-term wealth through dividend growth. Click on any portfolio to explore its holdings and performance in detail.
These strategies are for educational and illustrative purposes only and do not constitute financial advice, a recommendation, or a solicitation to buy or sell any security. Past performance is not indicative of future results. Always consult a qualified financial advisor before making investment decisions.
Value
Total Return
Yield
YoC
Income
Holdings
A rules-based, yield-first portfolio that treats equity as a yield instrument. This strategy harvests dividends from companies with established economic moats.
Coming Soon
Value
$67,340
Total Return
+31.20%
Yield
2.10%
YoC
2.40%
Income
$1,616
Holdings
12
Mid-cap companies with growing dividends and higher growth potential than large caps.
Coming Soon
Value
$54,281
Total Return
+8.90%
Yield
3.80%
YoC
4.10%
Income
$2,225
Holdings
20
Global dividend payers from developed markets. Geographic diversification with currency exposure.
Coming Soon
Value
$42,151
Total Return
+45.60%
Yield
1.50%
YoC
1.80%
Income
$758
Holdings
16
Small-cap dividend growers with higher risk/reward profile. Focus on emerging dividend champions.
Coming Soon
Value
$89,670
Total Return
+52.30%
Yield
0.70%
YoC
0.90%
Income
$807
Holdings
10
Tech and growth companies that have started paying dividends. Capital appreciation with emerging income.
More Strategies Coming Soon
We are continuously adding new curated portfolios based on different market conditions and investment objectives.
Joke Portfolios
Abandon all hope, ye who enter here
Coming Soon
Value
$100,000
Total Return
+0.00%
Yield
30.00%
YoC
5.67%
Income
$30,000
Holdings
20
Your principal is the fuel. The distributions are the flame. WTF is NAV erosion anyway?
Coming Soon
Value
$0
Total Return
+0.00%
Yield
0.00%
YoC
0.00%
Income
$0
Holdings
0
Thank you for your service. And your dividends.
Coming Soon
Value
$0
Total Return
+0.00%
Yield
0.00%
YoC
0.00%
Income
$0
Holdings
0
Skynet doesn’t pay dividends yet, but its suppliers do.
Coming Soon
Value
$0
Total Return
+0.00%
Yield
0.00%
YoC
0.00%
Income
$0
Holdings
0
Companies that have survived every scandal, lawsuit, recession, regulation, and PR nightmare thrown at them and somehow came out stronger. Meta after Cambridge Analytica. Wells Fargo after the fake accounts. Johnson & Johnson after talc. Boeing after the 737 MAX. The thesis: if it didn’t kill them, it made their moat wider. And if they get hit again? We buy more.
Coming Soon
Value
$0
Total Return
+0.00%
Yield
0.00%
YoC
0.00%
Income
$0
Holdings
0
ESG? More like E-S-Goodbye.
Coming Soon
Value
$0
Total Return
+0.00%
Yield
0.00%
YoC
0.00%
Income
$0
Holdings
0
Due diligence is for people who hate fun.
Coming Soon
Value
$0
Total Return
+0.00%
Yield
0.00%
YoC
0.00%
Income
$0
Holdings
0
They make the rules. We follow the money.
Coming Soon
Value
$0
Total Return
+0.00%
Yield
0.00%
YoC
0.00%
Income
$0
Holdings
0
Only companies currently being sued for antitrust. If the DOJ hates them, they must be doing something right.
Coming Soon
Value
$0
Total Return
+0.00%
Yield
0.00%
YoC
0.00%
Income
$0
Holdings
0
Mercury retrograde? Sell tech. Jupiter in Taurus? Buy commodities. Saturn return? Hold cash and cry. This portfolio is managed entirely by celestial bodies that are millions of miles away and could not care less about your net worth. There is no DCF model. There is no earnings call. There is only the cosmos, a birth chart, and an alarming amount of confidence.
Important Information
- •Portfolios are dummy portfolios, set to start on January 2nd, 2026.
- •Updated quarterly.
- •Disclaimer: These portfolios are not to be taken as buy or sell recommendations. They are for educational purposes only.
- •Definitely do not take the joke portfolios seriously. I'm begging you.